Never Let You Go
by wannamakeyoufeelbeautiful
Summary: I was left wondering why it had to be him, and not me. And especially why I didn't get the chance to tell him how I felt.


I leaned against the wall outside his hospital room and collapsed onto the floor in tears. How could this be happening, why had this happened. I cried and cried, huddled in a pile on the floor. My mascara probably making a mess down my cheeks, if one person from the upper east side saw me, I'd be all over gossip girl, but I didn't care. I tried to stop, but I couldn't so I let myself let it out.

"S? Oh my god baby come here." Blair gasped and ran towards me. She sat down next to me on the hospital floor. I knew it was a big deal because Blair Waldorf and the hospital floor are never used in the same sentence. I smiled a little, knowing what she was doing for me. She took my hand and rubbed my palm. "Shhh, S, I'm here. Chuck will be here soon. We're here S" she whispered to me. I nodded and hiccupped as I tried to stop my tears. Just then Chuck Bass rounded the corner, and his jaw dropped when he saw us on the floor.

"The floor? Well Serena, Ms. Waldorf here must really love you." He said in his typical Chuck Bass voice, Blair smirked at him, but he surprised us both and sat on the other side of me. His back pressed up against the wall, and ran his fingers through his hair. He was stressed about the fate of his best friend too. They all were to be honest. Nate completed the Non-Judging Breakfast club. If he didn't make it, they'd be nothing. I put my head on Chuck's shoulder and closed my eyes, trying to think of happy times.

"_Serena this is Nate." My mom had told me. "He's four just like you!" she squealed and pushed us together. _

"_Hi Nate!" I said with a big grin, "Wanna play with me?" I asked. His eyes grew wide._

"_I'm never allowed to play at mommy's party's!" he said almost shocked. I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards some open space. _

"_Let's play tag!" _

"_Okay! You're it!" Nate said and took of running. He was fast, and hard to catch. I chased him for minutes until I had a better Idea, I got close enough to push him over, and pushed him hard. He faceplanted into the mud. I bit my lip, it was a harder fall then I meant. "Serena!" he cried of pure joy. He pulled me into the mud too and stuck out his tongue. _

"_Natie!" I squealed. We rolled in that mud til we were covered. My red sundress completely ruined. I had called him that ever since, we had been in seperable ever since. _

The memory made me smile. I sighed, and wiped some more tears from with the palm of my hands. Blair looked at me.

"Remember that time the four of us went to Coney Island when we were kids?" she asked. Chuck let out a hearty laugh, something I hadn't heard in a long time.

"And you bet us that me and nate couldn't ride the scorpion without screaming?" Chuck said. I nodded.

"_Boy's are tougher then girls. That's that." Chuck gloated. _

"_Oh really? Wanna bet?" Eight year old Blair Waldorf put her hands on hips and stuck out her lip._

"_Bring it on Waldorf." He said. _

"_I bet you boys can't ride the scorpion without screaming." Blair said confidently. I shivered. The scorpion was the tallest ride on Coney Island. I grabbed Nate's arm. _

"_Let's go then. I'll ride with you to make sure, there's no cheating." Chuck said as he grabbed Blair's arm and lead us to the scorpion. When we finally got on the scorpion, Chuck and Blair were in the row infront of us. I grasp Nate's arm._

"_Natie, I'm scared, you guys win. Can we get off?" I had whispered to him. He looked at me and kissed my forehead. _

"_It's okay, S. I'm right here." He whispered back giving me a reassuring look. "I'll keep you safe. I always will." The ride jolted forwards, and I squealed in my seat. I closed my eyes and thrust my head onto nate's shoulder. Blair and Chuck both were laughing they're heads off in pure joy._

"We didn't even care about the bet after because we were having too much fun. Even Serena enjoyed it." Blair said with a giggle.

"Boy's are tougher then girls you know." Chuck said with a grin. Me and Blair smacked his arm and laughed at each other.

"Really Chuck?" I groaned. He smirked at us.

"Remember Summer going into sixth grade when we all went to the beach? You got stung by that ridiculous jellyfish and we all thought you were gonna die?" Blair said with a laugh.

_The NJBC, as they called themselves, were in the Hamptons for the fourth of July. They were swimming in the ocean, Serena and Blair in matching polka dot bikini's. _

"_OW!" 10 year old Chuck Bass yelped. Blair and Serena looked at each other and giggled. Chuck never got hurt. "I musta stepped on something." He complained. _

"_Or got stung…" Nate trailed off. My eyes grew big. "JELLYFISH" he screamed. We took off running for the shore. We collapsed on the sand in terror and giggles. _

"_What kind of Jellyfish?" I asked nervously. We had just finished the ocean unit in school a couple weeks before. _

"_It was huge with long stingers." Nate said spooked. _

"_OMG chuck don't die!" Blair squeaked. Chuck stared down Blair. _

"_I'll try my best." He said sarcastically. Chucks foot was getting bigger and bigger, obviously swollen. It was this nasty Purple color. _

"_Let's catch it!" I exclaimed excitedly. The others stared at me._

"_Are you Crazy S?" Blair said._

"_Let's go!" Nate said with a grin. So the three of them went down to the water, Chuck stayed behind due to the fact his foot was the size of Africa. Blair stood at the shore to watch as Nate and Serena waded in so they could see what was at there feet. _

"_I see it!" I cried out, trying not to freak out. Nate slowly waded towards her. _

"_Get on my back, S" he said. I shook my head. I was a big girl. I watched its long pink stinger get closer to me, as I tried to think of a plan to catch it. It's stingers brushed my legs, and I let out a high pitched scream, and tried to run away, but tripped. Nate caught me before I face planted into the jellyfish. "I'm always here to catch you, aren't I?" he said with a laugh, but he meant it. He bent down so I could see it swim by him. It was huge and scary. _

"I almost got myself killed. How was I gonna catch that thing?" I stifled a laugh.

"You were always the leader of the pack, S and then you'd get spooked." Blair reminded me. That's basically how it always went.

"And Nate always went along with your crazy schemes!" Chuck declared.

"Nathaniel Archibald's family?" a nurse in pink scrubs came out of his room. The three of us jumped up. "All of you?" she eyed us suspiciously. We all nodded.

"H-How is he?" I asked.

_It was the night before the first day of high school. I was sleeping at Nate's while my mom was away on another one of her honeymoons. I crawled out of the guestroom bed and tiptoed down the hall. I pushed open the door to Nate's room. _

"_Natie?" I called out. _

"_Serena." He said back, not shocked at all to see me. I went into his bed, and crawled under the covers and faced him._

"_We're highschoolers tomorrow!" I whispered. _

"_I know S. It's crazy." He said. I buried my head into the pillow and closed my eyes._

"_W-what if the four of us aren't friends anymore because of it?" I asked. Our group had been together since age five. I couldn't lost my friends like I had lost my dad._

"_We'll always be friends. Nothing can break us Serena."_

"_You promise to always love me?" I asked him._

"_I promise. I'll always love you Serena Van der Woodson. You're my best friend." He answered confidently. I smiled._

"_You promise to never leave me?" _

"_I'll never leave you Serena." I snuggled in close to him and fell asleep in the protection of my bestfriend. _

"He's not awake yet, but surgery went well. He should be awake soon." The nurse replied. I let out a sigh and threw my arms around Chuck and Blair. He was okay. Chuck grabbed Blair and spun her around and kissed her. I sighed watching two of my best friends, in love being the couple they were. My mind wandered to just a day before.

" _Serena!" Nate called to me. I turned around and ran to him. I threw my arms around him. "God I missed you" he said into my hair. I smiled, and lead him towards the town car waiting outside the airport. He was home! We got into the back of one of the town cars and drove off. _

"_How was your trip tell me everything!" I squealed facing him._

"_Not yet, S. I need to tell you something first." He said, and the grabbed my hand._

"_What is it, Natie?" I asked. _

"_Serena, being away for so long made me realize something. You've been my bestfriend for as long as I can remember, and I love you god I love you." He began. _

"_I love you too Na-" I started to interrupt but he cut me off. _

"_No S. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with everything about you. Your laugh, your smile, the way you value life, I love you Serena Van Der Woodson and I never want to let you go. I don't want to spend a minute without you. I want you to be what I wake up too, and what I fall asleep holding." He said. I listened to the words I had been longing to hear for months. All I ever wanted in life was him, and I was finally getting him. _

"_I-" I started to say back, but was interrupted by a car horn and lights coming towards the car on Nate's side. I screamed and it all went black._

Why. That was my question. Why couldn't it have been my side that got hit? Why was it his side of the car? Why was he the one getting seriously hurt? Why hadn't I got the chance to tell him I loved him back?

"You can come see him, if you like." The nurse said. I looked at Chuck and Blair. Chuck pointed for me to go.

"We'll be in soon." He said. I mouthed thank you to him, and pushed the door to his room open. There was Nate laying in the hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and an oxygen tank. A few tears slid down my cheeks, it killed me to see him this way. I sat on the edge of hid bed and grabbed his hand.

"I know you probably can't hear me Natie, but it's me. Serena. I love you Nate, and I know you'll pull through. I just know it. I love you Nate, as my best friend and as more than that. I'm madly in love with you, I can't get enough. If you didn't have that oxygen tank hooked up to you, I'd be laying in bed right next to you, because I know that's where I belong, wherever you are." I said. I rubbed his palms. His left hand started moving and I gasped because I knew he had heard me. Every word. He lifted the oxygen mask off his mouth and whispered to me.

"I love you Serena. I'll always love you." He whispered and I squeezed his hand. His eyes fluttered open and he took the oxygen mask off, indicating he could breathe by himself. He patted the bed next to him. I crawled over to the spot and lay my head on his chest.

"Those scars make you even sexier, if that's possible" I said with a sly grin.

"So does the mascara trail down your face." He said with an evident grin. I blushed and wiped at my face. "I'm kidding S. They make you more beautiful."

"When can you come home?" I asked. He shrugged unsure.

"Soon enough. You better get all the freedom you've ever wanted, while I'm in this bed because as soon as I'm out, I'm never letting you go"


End file.
